I wish I wouldn't have been so scared, I wish I would have embraced this feeling instead of running from it.
If I had, my, how different would our lives have been.
We were 13, and now we're almost 18 about to say goodbye to life as we know it together.
It just wasn't meant to be... that's what I keep telling myself.
If God had it in mind, it would have happen, regardless of my decisions.
That doesn't stop the knot in my throat, and the sting of pain, and bitter regret that roams aimlessly in my chest when you walk by.
You couldn't wait for me forever, and babe, you sure didn't.
After 5 years I finally said it back, it released from my insides with shaky hands, trembling knees, and I said what I knew all along.
That I felt it too.
Your words were simple, and forward, and all the things I didn't want to hear, but you knew that you couldn't anymore, and I understood.
and I still do.
You offered me your love and I didn't take it,
so I can't just spontaneously decide that I want it now.
Even though I know that my presence still affects you,
even though your eyes tell me the stories of the strings that still, mysteriously pull your heart at my eye contact.
I also know that your mind is made up,
that it's all too late.
All the pain you felt for so long because of my rejection, the wind caught it,
space caught it,
and when you finally got rid of it,
it was saved in the atmosphere..
and now it is being delivered back to me in forms of regret.
The tables turned my love, and any wise man will tell you, that he'd take pain over regret any day.
Just so you know, and just so it's clear...
all this time,
I felt it too.
