I'm Forgiven.

Let me clarify because it seems to be necessary.
I don't post status about my religious views because I believe I'm better than anyone or I believe I'm secretly chosen by God. Don't get me wrong I have pride in worshiping my Savior just because I do post bible verses and such doesn't mean I don't ever make mistakes. I know when I do make one little mistake everything I've ever said having to do with my religion will be thrown back in my face and I'll be called a hypocrite. If that's the prize I have to pay for striving to be Christlike then let it be.
I don't claim to the world that I'm perfect but I believe in a love that is.
That God loves anyway.
The bible if full of failures.
Failures that God redeems.
& that's what I am a failure that God has redeemed.

come on. we all do it.

Teenage girls are well teenage girls, enough said.
over thinking is our specialty and we do anything we can to show the world just how freaken independent we are.
there you are on your computer or watching t.v. and your phone viberates..
you look and it says...
"Hey"
and it's him...

just kidding not him.
but it's HIM!! the horrible terrible boy that "ruined your life"..
this is good. no no no . this is bad. very bad.
"omg I'm not texting back, im soo much stronger now."

*few min later
you look at that" hey" and you're so mad..JEEEZ how dare he text me! what a jerrrrkkkkkk!
with all the will power in the world you go the whole day without texting back to his
stupid "Hey"... you call every single one of your friends and you go nuts babbling on about how stupid he is if he even dreams about getting anywhere near you.

now...
It's 11.pm.. you're listening to some sappy Taylor Swift song.
and you look at the "Hey" and suddenly a rush of emotion hits and you write out
a huge long text message about life, and love and things we really don't have any idea about but we think we do.
then you erase it... then...
you grab the phone, you know it's a bad idea.. but there is nothing stopping you now and you say..

&it's 2a.m. and i'm cursing your name.

You know that moment in life when you wish you and someone else were just "nothing"
Nothing. like a non existent relationship.
because you're always something.
you're always "just friends", friends with benefits, best friends, enemies, frenemies, acquaintances, or total strangers. but you're still something, and being some kind of anything  always leads you back to being that thing you despise to be. lovers.
you're always there.in the mist of each others maddness.and you can't help it, you just can't stop this insanity, this endless cycle of emotions.
Every line has been crossed, the most beautiful phrases have been exchanged and so have the harshest.
you swear up and down you'll never go back and you're not in love but you're still there being something.

He is heavenly.

Do you know those things that just by thinking about them you just get chills all over?
I do that a lot&.Sometimes I wish I could go back into the time when great prophets rose and fought for the gossiple and back when Jesus walked on earth .

I would have loved to see the look on the servants face when Jesus turned water into wine.
I would have loved to see the look on Peters face when Jesus walked on water so flawlessly.
I would have loved to see the look on all the Israelites face when God through Moses split the Red Seas and they were free.

Seriously, imagine Elishas face when a chariot of fire pulled Elijah to heaven.
or the look in Marthas eyes when Jesus said "Your brother will rise again, I am the resurrection and the life. he who believes in me, though may not die, he shall live. And whosoever lives and believes in me shall never die"
& the sight of the lord when he was crucified and still looked up and said "Father, forgive them, for they no not what they do"

It's just so amazing to me.
so so amazing.