lost.

I feel fearless sometimes, like I don't care what anyone says I'm going to dive in this with all my heart because that's what it wants to do.

Other days, like today. Where I haven't ate right, or slept well because guilt and anxiety attack me from every direction.

I ask again, is this worth it?
Is he worth all this trouble that I'm going to face with everyone?
My head hurts, I feel dizzy just thinking about it and nausea strikes me.
I've never felt so lost. ever.
I've never not known what to do.
There's got to be a way right?
I just haven't found it yet.