Where are you love?

They say people never change, they say people always manage to stay the same.
Did nature forget to take you along with this curse?
Because you, you change like seasons, 
you swear up and down that this time you're not leaving
but I know of your temporary home with me.
I know it like the faithfulness of the morning,
 you come and go just like those seasons.

I watched the leaves of the trees bloom again,
my surroundings showed every sign of life.
I felt reborn along with the butterflies that danced around trying to get a deeper feel
of the air that smelled like fresh cut grass, so earthy, so new . 
I watched the wind take the butterflies, leaving you in perfect sight. 
There you were in all your handsome features, 
"he's back" the bees taunted from a distance.
You start from the bottom, examining my painted red toe nails, and your dancing eyes make their way up tracing the curve of my body, and each curl in my hair. They swiftly take in every part of me, until they meet my own eyes.
I stand there speechless, words caught in the back of my throat, I'm not surprised at your reappearance. I'm baffled at the heart wrenching fact that old feelings look so good on you, and like such a tragedy on me.  

You enjoy coming by just after the winter when I feel a taste of relief,
when I survived the snow without you.
When good love was holding tightly to my hand,
when good love was handing me green & red wrapped present, 
and looking at me the way I look at you. 
He was coming through he really was, he was turning my heart around with
fulfilling promises, and innocent, nervous kisses. 
I let good love go when you stood there surrounded by nature, letting it compliment
your faded tan skin. 
Ahh, but your stays are beginning to get shorter.

& Spring just waved you goodbye,
I go back to my place on the couch, and barley murmur through your
footsteps "stay".
Please love, save me the trouble, I'm weary from all the walks to the door,
I'm worn from the mental wages in my head to let you back in...
so please, do me the favor,
leave the door open as you walk out...
I always open it when you come again anyhow.
Save me the walk of trembling knees, full of weakness to open that door,
no use of hearing it close.
God knows how many times my rug will
feel the sole of your shoe,
and God knows how many times my chimes will ring
with the breeze you leave behind when you leave for the millionth time.

Tell me that you wont be back for the Summer time,
tell the ocean that you like making me feel like your gone for good.
So when the sun is kissing my skin, I'll wish it was you.
Why do you always just leave with out a word for me to trace when you'll return?
There's too much  damage done to my insides when words stay hanging off the tip of your tongue.
Surely you'll be back in time to hear our footsteps crunch dead leaves, as we walk the trails behind my house. 
I mean surely you'll be back when the leaves turn back to different shades of color,
when the cold air makes you shiver.
Or not.
Maybe, Fall you can handle.

Maybe this time you can't bear winter with out me, it's winds are far too fierce,
and that the gray skies made your heart feel damp, and lonely.
Maybe you'll need the colors of my quilt, and the heat of my skin to fall asleep.

Maybe you will be back again next Spring, because the sight of fresh flowers resting
on the side of my hair made you love me again.


Perhaps, your waiting for Summer, so we can nap in the hammock while the fireflies
light up enough that I can see your strong hands wrapped around my waist. 
And when June rolls around, you'll sing "happy birthday" to the top of your lungs, wishing me many more, and you cross your heart that you'll be there for the next, for the rest.

It's fall now,
I'm not wearing my way-too-short blue jeans shorts, I'm wearing my favorite hoodie, my hair is falling down past my shoulders.
I'm on the look out through the almost bare trees to see signs of you.
nothing,
I see nothing,
where are you love?
Did the seasons finally stop manipulating you to their ways?
Have you managed to remain, to settle, did she show you the seasons in a way that I never could?

Where are you?