The girl in the old running shoes cried the whole way home.

It started when Liannette missed the bus.

No, not a big deal, I use to miss the bus all the time.

Except yes, it was kind of a big deal because it meant I was going to have to take her to school and I was going to have to miss my internship.

It's alright. I'll just go to school.

Accidentally pull into Maggie's parking spot when I arrived. 

It's fine. She can just get into mine, she'll live.

I go into school with the plan to work on college applications, then study for my ap world test when I get to 2nd period.

Cfnc.org crashed in the middle of my submission...

that's fine I'll just wait a while..

20 min into 2nd period later..

finally working and letting me submit.

Now I only have a while to study for world history.. okay..

I'll spend 50 min studying and the last 10 minutes reviewing my old test. READY.SET...

*ring ring ring 

*Incoming call from Sara Chavez

"Hello"

"The car broke down, can you come get me? I'm stranded on the side of the road."

*2 hours and no lunch later.

I come in for my ap world test... LATE.

It's okay he gave me time to finish!!!... but  I still made a 61. (I'm not suppose to say my grade, shhh)

A 61. That's okay. Whatever. Not a thing I can do about it now, I'm just going to go workout since I have fourth period flex to relief some stress.

Come home and I can't find my running shoes.

I'll just use my old green and white ones, they're a little bit small but I'll be alright.

*about to do some leg exercises to finish my work out

when..

I run right dab into a machine.

ouch, I'm done. I'm done! I'm just going to go back to school to talk to Mr. Ramierz about my personal statement. Crap, it's like 2:50 I better go.

Rushing back to school, about to pull back into Maggie's parking spot then guess what happens?

I HIT MAGGIE'S CAR ON MY WAY, which was parked right beside of me, in my spot.. 

At least she got the memo to trade for the day. It's only a scratch ...Ughh. I better go get her.

 *bell rings for dismissal

Tons of blonde headed girls walking around, no Maggie.

I'll just walk back to her car and wait for her there instead.

I go back to the parking lot to find the principal in front of our vehicles.

"Is this yours?" 

"Yes."

"You hit that car."

REALLY!! REALLY!! THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW.

"I'm aware."

"A lady saw you and called me, where were you going?"

"It wasn't a hit and run, I was going to get Maggie."

"I already called the cops they should be on there way."

THANKS SO MUCH LOVE, WHAT WOULD MY DAY OF LOOKED LIKE WITH OUT YOU  CALLING THE COPS FOR SOMETHING WE COULD FIX WITH A SHARPIE..OR WITH OUT MY DEAR LADY FRIEND WHO THOUGHT I WAS HITTING AND RUNNING. 

blah blah, we stood out in the cold forever...

the cop let our parents handle it since it was nothing we couldn't pay out of pocket with out getting the insurance involved (thank goodness, two accidents in less than 3 months, $$$$ no thanks insurance$$$$$$$$).

Sweet, sweet, shy, Maggie in her cute little dress and glasses had very little to say, and got back in her car and drove off sympathetically waving me goodbye.

As for me I got back in that white Chevrolet,

and I did what I rarely do.

I did what I wanted to do all day.

I cried.

The girl in the old running shoes cried the whole way home.

Good thing I only live 5 min a way because by the time I got home I was crying so hard my vision was a blur, and my stomach was threatening to show me my breakfast.

On the bright side my dad felt very very bad for me and told me that I didn't have to cook just to go get everyone subway.
wooooo.


 p.s.I'm bringing Mags (I wonder if she'll let me call her that) something tomorrow and writing her a nice note for being such a doll.

that was my day. 

God knows I'm tough enough.

When I was in the 8th grade I had to eat lunch beside of Mrs. Bullington, I don't exactly remember why, I think I got in trouble for saying something inappropriate in class (imagine that). Whatever the reason was, there I was with her and another teacher. I liked Mrs.B, I liked her a lot, she was and still is my all time favorite teacher. She would always get me in trouble but not how you would think getting in trouble means. The way she did it was different, she did it in a way that I could see how much she genuinely cared about me. The only teacher that's ever really wanted to constantly know about me, the real me.
The teacher I'm going to remember when I'm 50, the kind of teacher that every teacher should be.

That day she turns over to me and says "you know I think you're a very strong girl."


"I don't have anything to be strong about Mrs.B, I live a pretty good life."

"One day you will have to be and just remember you have all the potential, all the maturity, all the love in your heart, to make it through anything. I just wanted you to know that I see so much in you, it's crazy."




On September 17, 2012 the women who lived with us for 13 years had a stroke, my grandma has been like a 2nd mom to us. By the grace of God she survived, unfortunately, her recovery is a slow process. A process that has involved my mom to go to Texas to take care of her for most of this semester. A process that involves me to be in charge of my 4 younger siblings the majority of the day, with only my 15 year old sister to help me until my dad gets home.
This part of my senior year is so crucial, the stress of college rest so heavily on my shoulders..I tell myself  that it's okay to get a little frustrate because I'm only 17, I'm not suppose to know how to do this.
Then again, I tell myself that I could do better, and it all boils down to me repeating to myself:
you're doing your best
you're doing your best
you're doing your best
you're doing your best

Mrs.B may or may not even remember what she said, but every day since my moms been gone, I've thought about her words.
& they've did me so good.
I am strong, even if I forget sometimes.

The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. -Deu. 33:27