pure love.

       St. Augustine once preached a sermon in which he proposed a kind of self test to see if we truly love the presence of God: He said suppose God proposed to you a deal and said I will give you anything you want. You can possess the whole world. Nothing will be impossible for you. Nothing will be a sin, nothing forbidden. You will never die, never have pain, never have anything you do not want and always have anything you do want. Except for just one thing. You will never see my face and never experience my presence. Augustine closed with this question: Did a chill rise in your hearts, when you heard the words “you will never see my face and never experience my presences”? If so, that chill is the most precious thing in you and it is a pure love for God.


:)

Mon amie.

When I was about 7 or 8 years old I went to a sleep over at a friends house. Her dad was a preacher and we had to go to her church for whatever reason. When we got there they told us we were not to go inside. I peeked inside the door and before I knew it another little girl(who was also from the sleepover) was standing next to me also peering through. Without speaking a word we slowly walked in.
We saw a casket in the front of the church and made our way to it, we stood there, are heads tilted  in curiosity as we starred at the corpse. We looked at each other, shrugged, and then she says, "hey, it's kind of cool."
"yeah, should we touch it?"

We're 18 now, pursuing a degree in psychology, and it's because we love picking through people's mind. It's also secretly because we want to discover why and how do 7 year old girls form a friendship by sneaking in to see a dead body.
And it's all fun and games until someone asks us how we met.


I am just blown away by our ability to get ourselves into cruddy situations since 04'
(we love taking pictures so.. enjoy).


  We thought we would find dates to go to a friends wedding shower this past Saturday.  We couldn't think of any boy who would want to spend their evening with us. The two guys we could think of, were out of town. So, we did what any two, single, weird, girls would do, we went together. She was my date, and I was hers.


No shame in our game.

My goodness, we had a ball

.
She made me breakfast.























The process...

She helped me with my make up. Here's a very edited picture of me being serious.Thanks Em.

  

                                                                   I did her hair.






                                                                Before and after.

                                                   
                                     Went to the wrong place  ( this is really how she reacts when things go wrong )
 

                             Found the right place and had so many laughters at the wedding shower (I'm dying to tell the story of what happen there because it's hilarious,  but you would think very differently of us)

  

Left the shower & well, got lost again. (because, we always get lost, including in mt.airy for one hour when we were 16.. true story)

                             
                                           We were going hard singing a song, when suddenly the music cuts off and we were left singing acapella style the car decides to stop functioning.

                              

Then her parents had to come get the two stranded girls and the poor car.

 We just decided to end our day after all the mishaps so..we went from hot to not in a matter of seconds.

Her mom told us awesome stories as she cooked dinner.

Our conversations started out with heavy hearts, and it's amazing what
a good friend, good meals, good talks,  and good laughs, can do to a person.

Ya'll, she is great, handles every situation so gracefully, even when we are completely lost we do not get frustrated with each other, we embrace adventurous . That's the kind of friends you want to have, the kind that bring out the best of you.
She's overwhelmingly beautiful, so it's crazy to think that despite of her physical attributes, they really don't compare to who she is on the inside.
AND She's absolutely hilarious.
She's honest and isn't afraid to call me out on my crap.
She's witty, open, and most importantly, God-fearing.
A leader in everything, if we eat, she leads us in prayer, when we get into the car, she leads us in prayer, before everything she goes to prayer.
A prayer warrior and God has truly blessed her.
I'm proud to say that she is one of the only people I can truly count on to tell me when I'm wrong.
She guards her heart  more than any young girl I know, such an example in love and purity.


Thanks Emily, for corpse, wal mart trips, being stranded, a trillion pictures, for prayers, and songs that get cut off in mid car karaoke. Thank you for long talks, for scripture when all else fails, for make overs, and for bumming together. Thank you for healthy meals, and not so healthly cook out shakes, for biology study sessions. Thank you for  8 a.m. Thursday mornings, and 2 p.m. Wednesday bible studies, for ice skating, for sba camp fun, for i hop, for sleepovers.

Thank you for hugs, for caring, for your giving heart, and thank you for a friendship that serves me so sweetly.
 I love you, mon amie.

A grateful leper at Your feet.

I'm thankful for the gift of grace that I don't deserve, that I can't earn. 

Nothing I do can make Him love me less, or more, He loves me with a perfect, pure, fulfilling, love that He'll never take back. 

It's amazing, it's crazy, a twisted psychology, that in repentance you don't have to sleep in the bed that you made.

 I'm thankful that I can't wrap my mind around grace, that I'm able to just embrace it. 

Ya'll, we live in this Grace. 

And I'm thankful for my Jesus lovin' family. 

This time last year we didn't have the privilege to celebrate this day with our mom. We felt so grateful to have her here this year. 

In our joy, there is still the absence we feel knowing that someone we loved whole heartedly was suppose to be there. 

We pressed through regardless, enjoying each others company, as always.

I love my family and their hearts to serve. 

p.s. even Lupe. 

This is not my dream.

Is it okay to be burden by what God wants for you?
Is it okay? I don't know. Was I? Yes, very much so.

I wanted to leave, I didn't think I would be in Surry County going to SCC or working at Mountain View Restaurant.
That wasn't my plan.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I believe that I knew but because it's not what I wanted.. I fought it. I remember last Fall before even applying to colleges I told Abby, "I'm scared that God wants me to stay in Surry County."

I didn't want to accept it, that I was called to be here for whatever reason, just for a little longer.
I said, "okay God, here I am," it hurt me having to let Queens University go with out a fight if I'm being completely honest.

 I have been going non stop , last week alone.. Thursday-Sunday I worked and did homework, Mon-Wed I was in the library for a total of 16 HOURS. 

I'm a little exhausted, my face is just not starting to clear up, and all together I don't feel swell about myself.  In my weariness, the devil tries to trip me up, and is telling me to connect the dots, figure out the perfect puzzle.  This whole time a little voice in the back of my head is asking, "what's your purpose? This was Gods purpose.. work, school, not a lot of friends?"

But Christianity is not a perfect puzzle! I don't have to know why I'm here right now,  I can feel God working in ME, slowly but surely. Why does the devil make us believe that we need to have this sweet, perfect, picture of life?

It's all for the better, Gods never left me hanging.
I doubt..but he is faithful when I am not.

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, WHEREVER you may call me.

forever winking.

It's that time of year again.
Five whole years ago today I was hitched.

We were dumb middle schoolers who kept up with it,
dumb high schoolers who kept up with it,
and now I guess we're dumb college kids who still celebrate this day..
Don't know the story? Here's last years post.

http://nathalliechavez.blogspot.com/2012/09/happy-four-years.html

I wink at a lot of people and I'm sure he does too.
I know we are both winking, flirty, fools.
However, I promise you we've winked at each other continuously, all the stinkin time, for 5 years.
When we passed each other in the hall way, in class, in mid conversation, during lunch, across the room, emoji winks through texts, and probably even unconsciously  when we talked on the phone.
It's our signature thing, it's quick and a smile always follows this tiny gesture.

We've never addressed this topic either, never even asked each other why we do it all the time, it's just understood that it replaces a "No matter where my attention is, who I'm with, what we're talking about.. if you're in the room, I see you, I'm acknowledging it, and you're special."

I LOVE IT.
Because no one catches it and if they do it's over and done before it's acceptable to comment on it.


When we all took a seat at our graduation I immediately turned my head to search for his face. He sat several rows behind me, through the abundance amount of red gowns, tassels, and rays of the sun I was still able to get a glance at his full face. That's all we needed, just a glance. 
2 seconds.
Wink.
Wink.
And of course a grin to back it up.


 If time could freeze I bet it would have froze there, a huge celebration was going on that symbolized an ending, a beginning, change, future, possibilities. To top it off 18 year old, mature, Tyler Nathaniel Class President Pardue was going to enthrall us with an intelligent, well planned out speech.

But at that moment that's not the Tyler I saw, during that fast, blink of an eye moment, it was Turkey and me, 13 years old, and building a fort on the back of the bus on our way home from Washington D.C.



Happy half a decade hubs.
It was a silly thing but it marks the start of our sweet friendship.

College has inevitably took us separate ways,
I don't worry about who you'll be in my life 10 years from now,
and neither should you. I'm already just so grateful to have known you thus far.

Carry on,
 I know we'll somehow, in some way, in some form always be ..forever winking.


;)

If you like it then you should have..

gave her to Jesus.


Alright Christian ladies, it's tough out there for us.
There's things we're going to struggle tremendously with, we must stand our ground though.
We must know.
We must be bold.
So here's just a few tips.




1. Categorize people.
Do you know that influence is everything?
 Do not be deceived, bad company corrupts good moral. 1 Corinthians 15:33
Babe, if you lay with dogs you're going to get fleas.
How do I categorize people? It doesn't mean judging them or excluding them completely from your life if their non believers.  I had such a hard time with this! My friend Brittany Wilson told me that you should have 3 circles in your life:

Circle number 1. This circle is completely saved up for your husband (Boys- your wife) . Point blank.
 And yes, if you're not married to him, sexual activity is invading and ruining the circle. I don't know what goes on in this circle, sorry, ask Mrs.Scott http://www.shoalsperk.blogspot.com/2013/08/learning-to-be-wife.html

Circle number 2.  Your family and friends in Christ.  This means your circle of influences.
The ones who pray for you. The ones who you have real conversations with, the ones who call you out on your crap.  The ones who remind you about being obedient to Gods word, the ones who remind you and push you to keep circle number one for your hubby. Get the picture? They ask you how your heart is doing, they talk about Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. This is the ones you spend time with.
But how do you know who is real? Hold tight. Tip #3

Circle number 3.
Everyone else.
As many times as Billy Bob lets you borrow pencils, saves you a seat, buys you a cookie during lunch, text you good morning if Billy Bob doesn't love Jesus, then he belongs in circle number 3.  I love people in circle # 3, I do, when placing them in circle #3 that limiting your time with them as well. If they don't belong in 1 or 2 they belong here. I have such a hard time with this because there's people who I see so much potential in  but I know I can't go too deep. This is the people you minister to! If you find it hard to talk about Christ to them remember something... say very little and show very much.

2. Don't follow your heart.
What?! Following your heart is the best quote ever.

Do you not know that the heart is naturally wicked and deceitful?

He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but he who walks wisely will be delivered." 
-Proverbs 28:26

Eccl 9:3 ...The hearts of men, moreover, are full of evil and there is madness in their hearts while they live, and afterward they join the dead.

Jer 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

Matt 15:19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander

Ouch.Ouch.Ouch.Ouch.
I know, it makes you feel unworthy but Jesus loves you anyway, even knowing your heart. You follow Jesus, not your heart, sometimes it lies. You ask God for authority, it's perfectly okay to say, "God, is he for me? Are my feelings truly there? "

3.You will know them by their fruit.
Don't be fooled by fake Christians.
Basically, what this means is, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck... it's a duck.
Matthew 7:
¹⁵ “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. ¹⁶ You will know them by their fruits.
 One more time! You will know them by their fruit, and they will know you by your fruit as well. What is their fruit? By their actions, the relationships they make, this is going to stomp on some cute, high wasted, shorty shorts girls toes but also by the clothes they wear.
If that hurt a little just know that before I dish it out I already took the hit myself.

People need to be able to look at us and know we're of the Faith, we need to be different because we are, it's a different life for us. If Ephesians says to imitate Christ then why do we look so much like the world?





4. Don't date non believers.

"I mean he does believe in God. "
Um, it's going to sound kind of out there but so do demons.

That's not enough. Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? - 2Corinthians 6:14

Don't even begin to go there.
I know you think you could minister to them but you wouldn't be in the position to do so. BECAUSE the heart is deceiving, you say you're doing it for his salvation but you know deep down that your ministry came out of an act of selfishness.

EQUALLY YOKED.

Sometimes they might be in their walk with Christ but maybe you're just running, following in love with Jesus and you can't be held back, not now. Beware of that too. That even if he's a believer that he's not interrupting a time God has chose for you and Him and no.one.else.
 Trust in the Lord, don't settle on anything less than a man who will pray for you before you walk down the aisle. If he loves Jesus, he'll know how to LOVE YOU.

5. Check yourselves.
Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you--unless, of course, you fail the test? 2 Corinthians 13:5

Christians, check yourselves. Examine your life, look over your relationships, look over your heart.




So much more I could say but that's just a few tips.
Keep Pursuing the Lord.
God Bless.

 

 

flowers in your hair.

You two are mean and somehow so kind.
Brutally honest yet somehow so comforting.

 

But we're not best friends.

There is so much we don't agree on, we see the world differently, people wouldn't associate us with one another. Which is why we are clearly going separate ways in life.

Yeah, we're not best friends.

We take doses of each other then, we take a break, then, come back and pick right up where we left off.

We've seen the cute boy crushes, the blooming flowers, the calm, coffee drinking, lullaby singing episodes of each others life.
But my goodness, we've also seen the unpleasant, disastrous, the wallowing worst.

From dressing in vibrant colors, nudging each others hips for attention, and pointing at the camera and screaming, "smile!"
To hearing the dead leaves crunch beneath our feet, black dresses, dark shades, interlocking hands, and whispering, "smile."

But we're not best friends.
Your honesty would take me by surprise, you'd say, " you're building a bridge to nowhere..
but I'll help you build until you realize. And when you do, don't fret, we can always break this down and start all over, and over, and over, until we get it right."

You two.
You bore a responsibility that didn't belong to you.
 You were burdened
by what burdened me.
You gave up so much of your time, your Senior year.
When I had bad days, you had bad days, when I had good days, you had great days.

We're not best friends.
They're giving me dessert when I'm full, and I'm smiling and enjoying their company again. I still love them, nonetheless.
But..
I'll always hug you two a little tighter, not only will my arms embrace you but so will the warmth of my body.
You fed me when I was starving.
No matter what my opinion is of your life and beliefs, or yours of mine.
It doesn't matter,
 you'll always find a friend me.

As long as I have a place to lay my head down, so will you.
Wherever I am, my home, will be your home.

You're not my best friends.
You're a solid ground to keep me from slipping, immediately transforming into a cushion for when I fall anyway. A glance of your freckles, the sight of your long Greek hair, a crooked smile, and a perfectly tanned skin. A reminder when I look back, the living, breathing, proof, that the struggle ends.

                              And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears
                               And love will not break your heart but dismiss your fears
                                        Get over your hill and see what you find there

                                     With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair