goodbye, my almost love

You.
you,
you,
UGH.

How did this happen again?
When you walked in my mind, heart, strength, will, and pride failed me at the very scenes.
When the lights turned off, I felt a longing, and it possessed me to the very bone.  I crawled next to you, my unfinished business, my never could be, my almost lover.
.
It was all wrong but there I was laying next to you, and my body was possessed with a warmth that was so satisfying. The vibe you give off as you sleep, you, in your most vulnerable state of being, a restless soul like yourself, lost in dreams. I admired it, the atmosphere was filled around me with the sound of you breathing in and out, unaware of my presence. You opened your eyes at my touch, you smiled, shook your head, no words were spoken, yet it was all so loud.

The air was screaming "walk away" I could even hear the stars outside begging me to WALK AWAY before I was trapped in his spell. All I could hear was the beat of my heart, in a rhythm that it's never played to. It was playing for you, your own special music, your own special song, playing in my chest. When your fingers interlaced with mine, my body stopped trembling as if your strong hands demanded the cold to stop biting at my skin. You pressed our intertwined hands up to your chest. I let out a sigh of relieve, the stress exits my system. I'm no longer tense, I'm peaceful, just like that, just with you.

 That moment was blissful, a perfect goodbye, a thank you for what we almost were, for butterflies, and sweet words. That moment was for all our late night conversations, for our laughing, and for all of our wishful thinking that maybe we could be together.That moment was for fighting too, for our terrible timing, for never getting it right. I planted a kiss slowly, softly, on your hand, let it go and whispered "bye" . I don't know if you heard me say it, but I did. I bid you the saddest, most tender, most genuine goodbye.  I don't know how much of me meant it, I don't know if you'll ever be around again for me to take it back.