The beginning of the end.

Just as I said I would here are the stories...


Number one.
"black hair boy with soft hands and a gentle touch"

I met him when I was about 11 through his cousin who at the time was my best friend.
The battle stretches out and the story is till this day in writing and boy number one will show up again .. & again. & again..

This was the beginning of a war & the end of my solid heart.
Who up until then had it all together & hadn't had a disappointment, not like this one at least.
I cannot blame him whom we will refer to as "black hair" for it all. I too was to blame
for fixing my eyes on someone taken, who had been for about 1 yr and a half when
I so very consciously jumped in their love story.

EVERYONE TOLD ME to stay away oh but when they said "Don't do it"
All I heard was "I dare you to" Have you met me? When I'm in the zone ..I'm in. Despite the fights
with all the people that did actually give two craps about me.
I was silly & believed everything it never really hit me that
if he liked me he would leave her for good I was blind & my soul was seen through my eyes
and my heart on my sleeve. Nothing like the person I am today.
.
I screamed & yelled and did everything in my hands for everyone to believe me
that I was saying the truth when he chose to lie about everything that had happen & to deny everything. Saying I was obsessed with him which was the only reason I was angry ...
I didn't understand what was so wrong about liking me? Why wasn't it okay?
When the truth was revealed his colors were seen like flashes of rainbows FINALLY scanning my eyes to show that he was not who he had said to be & I meant nothing..

I gave up & it was the best thing I ever did ... I laid my armor down and
disappeared .. he didn't hear from me for 10 months..

WHEN YOU FORGET HER DON'T YOU DARE . REMEMBER. ME..
I thought over and over and well over again.

I was doing fine, it wasn't easy that's for sure. I picked myself up and tried to gather all the scraps of my pride that was left and carefully attempted to glue it back to my at the time down-to-the-floor self-esteem.
This is when oh so graciously  boy number 2 comes in
"Italian boy" .....
(next blog)